Need some help in the body-image department? (Don’t we all!) Tap into these expert strategies to take your self-image from OK to off the charts.
Change Your Mantra
What thoughts usually go through your head? I wish I had thinner thighs? Why can’t I have a flat stomach? I hate my butt? Sound familiar? You can stop these thoughts and feel better about your body by doing a simple thing, says Patricia Farrell, Ph.D., a psychologist in Englewood Cliffs, New Jersey, and the author of How to Be Your Own Therapist.
“Create a new mantra—something you can repeat that will reinforce that you are strong, beautiful and worthy,” she says. Some ideas to get you started: “I am thankful that I have a strong, healthy body” or “Outer beauty comes from inner strength.”
Write Yourself Love Notes
You would drop a little love note in your boyfriend’s lunch, so why not do the same for yourself, suggests Farrell. It might feel a little odd at first, but she suggests leaving sticky notes around the house—everywhere from your bathroom mirror to the door of your refrigerator—to remind yourself of your beauty and your worth.
They can be funny (“Hey, hottie!”), thoughtful (“What should a chair and a body have in common? You should be comfortable in them”) or motivating (“The ice cream carton will not make us happier”).
Be a Little Childish
Paula Bloom, Ph.D., an Atlanta clinical psychologist and speaker, says the best body-image lesson comes from children. “When my daughter was two, someone came up to her and said, ‘You are so pretty,’” she says. “She responded, ‘I’m not pretty, I’m Rachel.’ Kids seem to intuitively know that they are what they are. She couldn’t fathom being called anything but her name.”
Take Bloom’s challenge and try to re-create that for yourself. Allow yourself to run, play or splash around in a pool with zero concern about how you look doing it.
Go Shopping
A lot of women hang on to clothes that are too small, hoping they’ll lose weight and be able to fit into them again, says Bloom. Although it isn’t a bad idea to save your clothes, it might be best to box them up for now, because they could be sabotaging your body image.
“Being assaulted every morning by things in your closet that don’t fit does not make for a positive start to the day,” she says. Instead, do a little shopping for clothes that are both comfortable and cute—in the size you are now.
Get a Massage
You already know that massage is a great stress reliever, but did you know that it could also make you feel better about your body? “Touch releases some really delicious hormones, like oxytocin, which flood us with feelings of well-being and safety,” says Tina Tessina, Ph.D., a psychotherapist and author in Long Beach, California. It’s common, she says, for women to leave a massage treatment feeling at peace with their bodies.
Can’t afford a massage? “Holding a baby or even petting your dog or cat will also have the same effect,” she says.
Focus on How Your Body Feels
If body insecurities are affecting your ability to enjoy sex, Debby Herbenick, Ph.D., author of Because It Feels Good: A Woman’s Guide to Sexual Pleasure and Satisfaction, has the tip for you. Instead of agonizing about the way your body looks, think about the way it feels.
“Stay in the moment,” she says. “Focus on how the sheets feel against your skin, how your hand feels on your partner’s back or butt and how your bodies feel as they move together.” This, she says, can increase arousal, reduce any body hang-ups you may have and make it easier to orgasm.
Try This $2.99 Bathroom Trick
One of the best things a woman can do to feel better about herself is to start the day with a healthy, positive view of herself, says Tessina. She suggests you try this one cheap and easy thing: Toss any unflattering, glaringly bright bathroom lightbulbs and replace them with softer bulbs. “It’s such a cheap and easy fix,” says Tessina, “and it can help you start the day feeling so much better about the way you look.”
Remember That Everyone Feels Inadequate Sometimes
Think you’re the only one who looks in the mirror and sometimes sees a sumo wrestler instead of the true beauty that you are? We promise, you’re not alone. Even the most physically fit people struggle with feelings of body inadequacy.
Here’s proof: According to a recent study, Spanish researchers found that many professional soccer players (you know, the ones with toned butts, rock-hard abs and to-die-for legs) reported dissatisfaction with their physique. The takeaway? Whether you’re overweight, super fit or somewhere in between, you may always be dissatisfied with your body unless you tackle what’s inside and find the confidence you need to accept yourself just the way you are.
Source: GLAMOUR MAGAZINE
